I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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