He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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