that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
