There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
