2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
