The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
