Tell her she can't have a vagina
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize