Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
