So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
