She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
