Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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