My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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