Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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