I got chris browned last night
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
