Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
