So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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