isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
