his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
