i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
