I cockslap morals
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You need a sexual gate keeper
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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