I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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