I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
