dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
May the power of my ass compel you!!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
