I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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