I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
