She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
