It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
