too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
