I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
