Duck Duck Cougar?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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