guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
how drunk are you?
Several
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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