scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
