This girl is more easily done than said...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
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trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
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I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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