That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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