oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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