Just fell off a train. Bad.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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