Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
