HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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