It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
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So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
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Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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