You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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