they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
