I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
