Sponge bath it is.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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