she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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