I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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