Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
