Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
