So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
