I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
