i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
