some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
