It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Vodka?
Forever.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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