OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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