in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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