i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
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