a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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