So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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