the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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