I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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