He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Come see our sink grown plant.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
