i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Vodka?
Forever.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
