6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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