i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
