Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Randomize
